Listing listy list list list

I skipped a triathlon this morning. It was a sprint length (.5 mi swim, 13 mi bike, 3.1 mi run) and I didn't even go even after going out of my way yesterday to pick up the packet. You see, I have ridden my bike outside only twice this year, have not done any open water swimming, haven't even had my wetsuit out of the drawer yet. I'd have swum without a wetsuit, but the season has been cold. The race directors sent a message suggesting athletes use wetsuits for the cool water. Even with the plan to participate purely has a training outing, it seemed less than optimal to race.

As I sat outside on my little patio last night, dining with my neighbors and their two boys until nearly 9pm I knew that I *ought* to have been inside lining up my gear. The company was too good, the setting sun too comfortably warm and relaxing. It was much more important to stay in that moment than freak out about proper placement of the stickers with my race number. Alas, early starts being what they are there was no chance I'd have pulled that off this morning before heading to the event site.

So the one 2011 triathlon is off the list. Signing up for a second one was contingent on having fun at this one. Seems only a little disappointing. I just can't do everything.

I'm a list maker, perhaps thanks to coming into the world with a birth sign of Virgo. Lists litter the backs of my notebooks. Scratch pieces of paper are strewn about piles of papers. I write them during meetings, waiting for food in restaurants, before bed many nights. They help me pack for journeys as well as organize round-the-town trips of errands.

Used to be that putting the todos on the back of an envelope or in an email sent to self would help me not carry them around in my busy brain. Seems to be that this isn't working anymore. My paper lists become jumbled sources of anxiety when at any given moment I know that I need to:

write cover letters
study for gre
do the dishes
wash the laundry
clean the cat boxes out
mulch the garden
put in a french drain
put in a fence
replace the grass on the front hill with low-grow-no-mow ground cover
swim
bike
run
clean bike to sell bike
paint
remodel the bathroom
call grandma
call mom
call dad
write the blog (woo, check!)
send fundraising emails
organize the kitchen cupboards
cook food for the week
knit 3 more baby hats
walk the dog
sign up for more dog obedience classes
sell all those books i don't need any more
call JB to overhaul bassoon
start yoga again
balance my budget
get the files off the old computer that is broken
get ride of the even older computer
back up the files on the current computer
and so on

Ah, what was my point and why am I just sitting here with so much to do?! Oh yeah, no more lists for me. Well. I get one per day. It can only be written the day of and can only include things that I can reasonably accomplish and lots of room to do some of the things that I want to do or to not do somethings when I don't want to.

So yesterday, once the race was timed, friend was picked up, eaten with (thumbs up for Little Szechuan), and let off at the airport....nap was had, yard work opted for, and then dinner with friends was what I wanted to do. Surely if I had been ready, even if only in mind, for the triathlon I would have wanted to get ready for that. Not this time.